Day 210

Yesterday, my friend at pilates lent me a book called 'Writing to Change the World' by I can't remember the author's name and it would require me to run upstairs as it's sitting by my bed.  This was right before my PT asked me if I wanted to take the year long course and teach Pole Star Pilates.  I have been giving it some thought.  Part of me would love to.  It is only taught every other year so the next courses wouldn't begin until next fall and most of them are taught on weekends.  I could save up the money by then.  Little C would be in first grade by the time I was ready to take on clients.  I have been trying to picture myself doing pilates as the teacher as opposed to being the student.  It would give me a skill.  T says he can see me doing this more than he sees me being a copywriter, though he thinks I just need to focus on my writing. 

The Change the World author (oh, she wrote 'Saving Ophelia') said that if you as a writer are fuzzy at all in your life, then how can you expect your characters to be anything less than fuzzy?   I have realized that the reason the mother character in my novel is unfinished is because I don't really know my mom, not really, though I long to.  She has always kept herself hidden and because I sense that the story is really about her it's just not clicking.  Add that to the fact that I still don't fully realize myself as a mother and you've got a fuzzy character.