Day 202

I felt the spirit so strongly today as I prayed for my friend before her lesson.  I could feel her heart as it beat outside her chest.  It is one of my favorite parts of Sunday now, the prayer meeting before the lesson.  I have been doing reflexology on the kids' feet.  I don't know what I'm doing, it is only instinctive.  Every night before bed, I rub lavender and other essential oils on their feet and we connect at the end of the day.  I started doing this to calm them, and provide a nurturing haven.  C has calmed down immensely and little C asked me all evening when I will work on her feet.  There is something I can feel like I can give them of myself.  Before it was me serving them, praying for them, teaching them, but this tactile touch, this looking into their eyes and willing my own heart, my love, energy, whatever you want to call it into them, is powerful.  

It is hard to do if I am tired, anxious, or grumpy, and so I have to take myself out of it.  I don't know why I have felt inspired to do this only that I needed to.  The stress of life around us is great and the world provided answers to T and I in regards to our son and I knew it wasn't right and that there was another way and so I prayed.  I have said it before and I run the risk of repeating myself, but I am on a journey.  This trip winds and weaves into the most delicious, painful, insightful ways, but I keep moving forward allowing the changes to come.  I don't know why I am such a late bloomer and that at 36 I am finally learning things about myself that I should have realized years ago, but the inspiration comes line upon line and only when I am ready and able to receive it. 

I promise you this.  The answers will come and as mothers we are powerful conduits in regards to the will of the Father for these little ones in our care.  I have learned that I can not sit on the sidelines of my own life.  I don't know if it's the time we live in now, an acceleration of these days, the stronger spirits that surround us, the screams of the world, but I see now why I must learn to listen, to obey, to understand how I receive revelation.