Day 251

I'm putting off going to bed.  T got called to St. George last second to drop everything to go fire someone.  I had this grand scheme in my head of all of us going, me surprising the kids with no school tomorrow and bags already in the car when they got home from school, heaven for a child.  No such luck.  This was a serious firing.  No fun to be had and all plans for this evening changed.

So instead of the two of us going to a reception at the Thanksgiving Point gardens, it was me following friends with my own kids in tow and some of theirs.   I found myself depressed.  There was dancing and no one to dance with.  I didn't feel comfortable just asking some guy to dance like I'm not a late thirty mommy, but Frank was crooning and people were swing dancing and I wasn't joining them.  Finally, in desperation I picked up little C as she spooned chocolate cheesecake in her mouth and whirled her around the patio.  It wasn't the same.  But oh the wedding dress on the model bride found in Anaheim with the silver jeweled bodice was something out of a dream. 

I signed C up for Lego league.  Oh, I was in the  right place at the right time.  Only 7 spots.  My life now so much more complicated, I can barely stand it.  This isn't making things out of legos, though there is that.  This is a huge community project with research and meetings and hours of work and engineering and programming and team building and all the things that will enhance his experience and there's scouts and soccer and piano and little C's music class and dance and this isn't what I wanted.  I'm not one to put my kids in fifteen different things.

Draper temple.  Incredible.  I'm cheating on the Oquirrh Mt. this year while I spend afternoons in Draper.  And I'm in love.  Not only do they have handicapped access, but a man stands at the door and its his job to OPEN it for you.  That's what he does.  Everyone stands up to greet me.  They ask me how I want to serve.  I am putty in your hands, you delightful piece of heaven, you. 

Little C doesn't like school.  "They treat us like servants, mom.  School is no place for me!"  It's a rigorous environment.  I knew it would be.  I know she's a different child than C.  Her new music class (deserves a post of its own) and her dance class light her up.  She likes recess.  She doesn't like classwork, feels like worksheets are a waste of her time.  She wants to stay home with me, but doesn't want to be treated like a baby.  I've talked about creating a different experience for her.  It's late and I'm tired and I need to write this out and revisit it again.  I don't see her caring that she's in Algebra and Latin like C or wanting to be in the top of her class like C and maybe this is a mistake having her there, but I can't send them two different places.  Aackity aack aack aack.  See what happens when T leaves unexpectedly???  I should be in bed and I'm not and it's drama, drama, drama.