Day 265

Welcome to my writing blog where the majority of my writing details the status of my thyroid.  Fascinating stuff here.  Therefore, I won't bore with the details since its going to take a while to hash it all out.

Murder mystery party was huge success.  I haven't had that much fun in I don't remember how long.  Everyone got SO into it, well it was my dream come true.  One of our friends had business cards printed out with his character, one friend rented a dress, nothing was off limits, no one held back.  An every Halloween tradition?  Maybe it will have to be.  I still have all the Mardi Gras decorations up.  Why take all the chintz down?  Love that house is clean after a get together feeling.  I have enough rice to feed a small country since at the last minute I panicked over my lack of cajun culinary skills and sent T out for pizza.

This would be about the time that a little voice in my head would say "PACE YOURSELF" and I wouldn't listen and go ahead and plan that girls' weekend away that I said I would plan, but then said I wouldn't because all I wanted to do was sleep.  Now it's like I'm trying to cram all of the fun I possibly can into the window before I grow tired again.  I don't know how to stop.  My name is Firewoman and I have a problem.  NO.  I don't have to be involved in every little thing to feel like I belong.  Things can and will go on without me being there or planning them or both.  I can remain calm.  I can remain here ------ instead of _____ or ''''''''''''''''''''

So, I think I am giving up on the girls' weekend.  That can happen in 2013.  I can take a deep breath and realize that I'm not at the optimal point I need to be health wise though wouldn't this be fun if this was naturally me????  I wish it was.  That's the sad part.  I want this ball of energy to really be who I am and to cut that tired slug part of me right out and even the person somewhere in between that feels eh and oh I don't know...is this the creative brain?  If I was a rock star or Picasso would I be crazy or burn out on drugs to keep up the creative process or the high of life?  Luckily I don't have to worry about any of that since I'm not them, but I would like to do something big and meaningful and leave my mark.

Narcissism thy name is moi.  TMI: fourth "period" in two months time.  See the vital role the thyroid plays in life?  These ramblings are coming from a place that could be on the other side of the world in two days time.  I end where I began.