Day 47

Writing is an escape.  The story I can create is not mine and I can travel the world as I long to do.  I am revisiting Curly and her “ghost.”  It is soothing.  Curly has a strong voice and something about her resonates with me. 

I have known for a couple of months now, though I haven’t said anything, but I find myself in a familiar position.  My darling T is being let go from his job (trust me, not because he did anything wrong).  The layoff will be right before Christmas if not sooner.  I apologize for not coming to my nearest and dearest and confiding all.  To be honest, my parents have only known about it for a couple of days.  I found I couldn’t say the words.  I couldn’t make myself admit that it was real, not a story I was creating. 

I have learned that I have faith.  I watch my husband so blessed, so beloved as he ONCE AGAIN goes above and beyond to help everyone and anyone find work.  He has literally helped and placed tons of people.  I watch him mentor young men and established ones as well and give them career advice free of charge.  I watch people come together to put their heads together to find him a great new position.  I know this road.  It is lonely.  Hope, hope, hope, hope.  How did the interview go?  Have you heard back on anything today?  Do we sell the house?  Do we sell the jeep?  What do we do about health insurance?  Oh my gosh, what about physical therapy…trust me, this smoothes off rough edges. 

Having said all of this, I am not afraid.  I am not bitter, only my heart aches for the one I love most.  I have mentioned before that by doing initiatories every week for well over a year that the promises are literally coming fulfilled in my life.  I have made covenants, I pay a full tithe, I have the most darling family, I have a warm extended family and the most AMAZING friends on the planet. 

Christmas will be great.  Luckily we got the kids’ gifts while we still could.  We are keeping things simple and focusing on our Savior and service.  R, I will take you up on writing to your son and son in law and we are getting more service men’s names.  I want to go to retirement homes as well.  I am full of gratitude.  I want for nothing.  I am the richest person in the world.  The great thing about the uncertainty is being cradled in His arms and remembering what means most.  I love Him.  I always say there’s beauty in pain because I get to walk beside Him. 

Back to Curly, I’m trying to adapt her into a novel.  I thought she was finished, but she means a lot to me and maybe through all of this I will find she still has more to say.

Day 46

Stephen King wrote in his book, On Writing, that once one finishes a piece they should put it away for a couple of weeks and then come back to it with fresh eyes.  I'm doing that.  I just can't look at it right now.  I am going to work on the ghost story, I think.
I wrote in my journal today.  I have had the same journal for 16 years and I still have a few more pages left.  How sad is that? 

Day 45

So long, long ago I taught the 18 year olds in my ward.  They are 22 now.  I've gone to weddings, mission farewells, mission reunions and yes, baby showers for these "kids".  I had a nice long talk with two of these young men outside the bishop's office today.  Love these guys!  This is why teaching youth is the best calling in the world. 

I only have three more Sundays with my 12 year olds and before I know it, I'll be dancing at their weddings and another boat load of years will fly by.  We finished decorating for Christmas and I'm finally ready.  T leaned over to me today and whispered he wants our family to write letters to the soldiers in Iraq for Christmas. We have been so blessed and hard times are scratching at our windows, trying to get in and so this season that we have been blessed so much, we want to do things that remind our family what's really important. I can't wait.

Happy Sunday.

Day 44

Ok, between my "dirt" herbs I drink in glass jars and the myriad of vitamins and minerals I take every day, I rarely get sick.  Knock on proverbial wood.


I am freakin' sick.  Writing, what's that?  My voice is GONE.  I have been squeaking all day, trying to sound loud and I sound like a fluffy mouse.  My family must be rejoicing. :)

I don't have time to be sick...ughh...

Day 43

T asked me the other day who dies at the end of the story.  He told me to tell him the ending and I told him no.  He has to read the whole thing to get the ending.  I guess he thought he could get a pass cuz he's my husband and all.  Yah, he probably gets a pass.  I also know he will read the whole thing and I appreciate that.  He has always been so supportive of my writing.  He's not afraid to tell me when something doesn't work.

I am trying to revise a chapter in the psycho stalker's POV.  It's slow going.  This editing thing is tough.  OK, so I've met my goal in finishing NaNoWriMo and now all the revisions are a chore.  I need to finish this, but I'm already thinking of another project.

On Good Reads, I saw a book I want to read about a man who was down on his luck, so he wrote a thank you note to someone every day for a year.  Have you noticed I'm all about doing something everyday for a year around here?  I would love to write a thank you note everyday for a year.  Maybe in 2011.  What a cool project.  That is 365 people to thank and I love that.

Day 42

Have you ever showed up to a Drs. appt a week early?  That's how the day started.  The good news is I'm all caught up on all the episodes of Parenthood now.  Love that show. 

Truth be told, I edited very little of my story today.  My Pilates trainer kicked my butt and thanks to mom for watching C.  It was nice to rest up and I'm starting to kick this cold to the curb I think.

Thursdays are temple, Pilates, and PT and are always my favorite day of the week.

I'm off to spend some time with the hubs.  I'll write more tomorrow.

Day 41

Just some editing today of the first two chapters.  Spent most of the day playing catch up on cleaning the house and laundry.  Almost done Christmas shopping.